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Never Again: Moving On From Narcissistic Abuse and Other Toxic Relationships, by Dr. Sarah Davis, 2019

Title: Never Again: Moving On From Narcissistic Abuse and Other Toxic Relationships

Author: Dr. Sarah Davis

Publisher: Troubadour Publishing Ltd.

Publishing Date: 16 March, 2019

Genre: Nonfiction/Self-help

Format: Ebook

Language: English

No. of pages:

Synopsis:

Dr. Sarah Davies draws from her clinical expertise, largely gained from working with individuals at her Harley Street practice in London, as well as from her personal experiences with narcissistic abuse, to put together this practical guide to understanding and moving on from toxic relationships.
If you have experienced narcissistic abuse and want to avoid a repeat experience, Never Again – moving on from narcissistic abuse and other toxic relationships can help you to:
• Learn about Narcissism & identify Narcissistic Abuse
• Develop tools and coping strategies including emotional regulation, mindfulness and grounding techniques
• Learn a range of practical tips and tools to break the cycle of abuse.
• Learn a 4-step refocus tool helping you to move on more quickly
• Work on your self-esteem, values, self-compassion and forgiveness
• Address any unhelpful thinking or beliefs that may be holding you back
• Learn about trauma and narcissistic abuse and how to manage emotional overwhelm or distress
• Learn about healthy boundaries and how to hold them
• Develop clearer, healthier communication
In this new book, Dr. Davies shows readers how to identify narcissistic abuse, but also the tools needed to move on and potentially end destructive relationship patterns once and for all.

My review:

I received a review copy for Netgalley in return for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

I really like the systematic nature, which the author has undertaken to talk about this issue. As a reader I think it really helps in the healing process – apart from being a self-help book, it is also a practical guide as it takes the reader by the hand and help him or her to recover. In this, it has proved a very practical and useful tool.

Bringing in the abuse factor little by little and then relating it to a relationship (in the surprisingly quite a few cases that it appears in), makes it a smooth transition for the reader to understand. The author has kept the psychological well-being of the reader in mid, for she does not spring facts suddenly at the reader thus shocking him/her, but by slowly transitioning in a slow manner.

Acceptance is a significant phase in this situation and the author has done it in a good manner. She then leads the way to understanding and realizing if one’s partner is a narcissist, and then moving ahead. Her research is very fact based and as such, increases the dependability of the text. Lastly, she also talks about recovery, which is perhaps the most important post stage. The author also guides the reader in developing a new mindset – one that is supportive of the person’s own being and how compassion and forgiveness goes a long way. Apart from the ‘victims’, the author also addresses the friends and family, for which she scores one more amazing point!

On a personal front, I think the book has been useful. It made me realize that in the end, we really need to take care of our own selves.

Verdict:

I quite enjoyed the book except where I felt that it was a bit too repetitive for my taste. Overall, helpful read. I rate it 4/5!

About the reviewer:

Nayanika Saikia, is one of the foremost book reviewers from the North-east and Assam, and is also an admin for the official India bookstagram page on Instagram. She publishes her own reviews and recommendations for poetry, fiction, non-fiction etc. on her bookstagram account @pretty_little_bibliophile which won the NorthEast Creator Awards 2018, as well as in daily newspapers, online magazines etc.  She can be contacted at nayanikasaikia98@gmail.com .

Everything I Never Told You, Celeste Ng, 2014

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Everything I Never Told You, is, without doubt, one of the best out of the 11 books I read in May. It’s an exquisite novel about the Lee family, in 1970s Ohio, and how the apparent suicide of their eldest daughter Lydia, affects the relations among the rest. It’s been a profound and revealing experience- reading this moving story of family, love, longing, and secrets, and how delicate the equilibrium that balances them are.
I finished this book within 3 days while I do believe that it would have taken me less than a day, should I have not been in the middle of my finals. This novel is not just revolving around the crime itself; in a way it follows the stream-of-consciousness method when it jumps back and forth in time giving us a view of the world through not only Lydia’s but also the other characters’ eyes as well, until it culminates in that one point where the story really ends.
The plotline was very well thought out- and the execution, flawless. This is my first Celeste Ng book and I am looking forward to reading the rest. Like I have stated before, the way of writing is beautiful and the magic she has woven in this tragic yet hopeful tale, is astounding. As I read and flipped the pages, I could almost sense the feelings Lydia was undergoing as if it was truly happening to me. The characters were very round and well-developed, in the sense that we were given an intimate view of their mental mechanisms and why they acted the way they did. It’s a harrowing experience and boggled my mind as I reached towards the end. Everybody has a story- this novel is not simply concerned with the suicide and the whys behind it. It also deals with the hows, whens and whys in the lives of the other characters as well- dissecting the events in their own life that had shaped them into their true selves.
I have truly enjoyed this piece of literature and I rate it a 5/5 stars for making not only me- laugh and cry, but my mother as well. When asked, her rating was also, not surprisingly, a 5/5 stars!

Ramayana: The great Indian epic, by Valmiki

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The Ramayana is one of the two most famous Sanskrit epics of India. It’s an affirmative epic and set in the Treta Yuga. It basically follows the eldest prince of Kosala kingdom- Rama, and his familial life. Other characters are Laxmana (brother), Sita (wife), Dasharatha (father), Kaikeyi(one of the three wives of the king), and also, Ravana (demon king of Lanka).
This is one of the largest ancient epics in world literature. Ascribed to the sage Valmiki, the Ramayana is also considered to be the AdiKavya or the first poem. As an Indian myself, I have grown up hearing stories of the Ramayana from my grandparents, parents and other elders in general. The story, apart from the usual entertainment aspect, also teaches life values etc. in Rama himself, we see an idealistic character, and while many people find faults within him, I for one, do not particularly hate him. His fault perhaps was placing his own countrymen above his own as well as his family members’ personal wants and choices.
There is also politics here- so much so that a crowned prince is sent to exile for 14 years. It has fantasy as well as mythological elements as well; demons, witches, divine weapons, giants etc. abound in this grand epic.
I have been reading the translated version of this epic for some time now, and I’ve been loving it. This Ramesh Menon translated version is as close as you can get to the original one. I would definitely recommend you all to give it a read before you pick up any retellings. And when you finally pick it up, do make sure to keep a pen and paper with you, so that you can write who the people are. There are just so many characters, that a person who has been newly introduced to it may be confused!
While writing this article, I was looking up some relevant facts about the epic and I came across this: “Sing his love, sing his praise, Rama set his wife ablaze. Got her home, kicked her out, to allay his people’s doubt. Rama’s wise, Rama’s just, Rama does what Rama must. Duty first, Sita last, Rama’s reign is unsurpassed,” – Luv & Kush, an excerpt of lyrics from Nina Paley’s Sita Sings The Blues. 
 
If you finish it and like it, and are looking for something similar, I would definitely recommend you to give these books a read:

  1. The Scion of Ikshvaku by Amish Tripathi.
  2. Sita: The warrior of Mithila by Amish Tripathi.
  3. Asura: Tale of the vanquished by Anand Neelakantan.
  4. Sita: an illustrated retelling of Ramayana by Devdutt Pattanaik.
  5. Four brides for four brothers by Devdutt Pattanaik.
  6. Bhoomija: Sita by Anand Neelakantan.

At the moment, I can’t remember anything else but comment below if you do. Do tell me how you found reading that book.
 

  1. I shall be hosting a giveaway on my Instagram account soon, since I’m fast approaching my one year anniversary. Make sure you follow me @pretty_little_bibliophile on Instagram as well as this blog, to get a chance at winning some amazing things!