Coffee Date, Saravana Kumar Murugan, 2017

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Publishers: indiaauthor.in
Genre: Romance
Synopsis:
Read and cherish this tale of love from the Undisputed King of Romance on Blog-o-Sphere. Coffee Date, the real taste of love!
❤ RATED FIVE-STAR BY VERIFIED PURCHASE READERS ❤
Siddhartha Abhimanyu… People call him Sid, a techie, a beard lover, an ardent reader and a big fan of Nicholas Sparks, loves reading stories with happy endings. And when he’s not reading he write poems; which helped him impress a long list of girls.
Isha Reddy, the queen of his little heart. The first time Sid saw Isha, he couldn’t blink even for a second. She, being a writer, director of three award winning short films, hates men with a stubble and, has a different opinion on life.
Sid falls in love with Isha. Isha could not escape from Mr. Charming. They date over a cup of coffee. Sid also acts as the male lead in Isha’s new short film.
Niharika, Sid’s direct report in office falls in love with Sid. He rejects her proposal, but destiny has different plans. They have to fly abroad to execute a project.
Shivani, Sid’s reel life heroine, is introduced to him by Isha. Shivani kisses him during a shoot. This along with a series of incidents hurt Isha.
Isha breaks up with Sid. Both Shivani and Niharika waiting for this opportunity, what will happen to Sid and Isha’s love? Will Sid and Isha reunite? Will Niharika get what she wants? Or will Shivani succeed in her masterplan?
My review:
Coffee Date is the second book I’ve read that has been written by Saravana Kumar Murugan.
The plot is very compelling and overall hooks the reader until the very end. I admit that I myself completed this in one seating. The themes of friendship, love, and jealousy etc., are very well explored. One thing that I have observed in the author’s book is the beautiful way in which he incorporates the family life within the personal-romantic relationship one. For instance, apart from the romantic love, the reader can also see the parental love coming into the picture. It’s a welcome recurring theme.
The protagonists Siddhartha and Isha are characters of the real world- with their heads revolving around their careers too and not just mere love life issues. The understanding that was displayed between them implies the depth of their characters. The friends involved are also well-plotted characters and the element of jealousy was brought in well through the actions of Niharika.
I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to all. However, I do think that more time should have been spent on proof-reading the manuscript so that the errors in punctuation, grammatical issues etc., could have been avoided.
Verdict:
I rate this book a 3.75/5 stars.

Call me by your name, Andre Aciman, 2007

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Publishers: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2007
Synopsis:
Call Me by Your Name is the story of a sudden and powerful romance that blossoms between an adolescent boy and a summer guest at his parents’ cliff-side mansion on the Italian Riviera. Unprepared for the consequences of their attraction, at first each feigns indifference. But during the restless summer weeks that follow, unrelenting buried currents of obsession and fear, fascination and desire, intensify their passion as they test the charged ground between them. What grows from the depths of their spirits is a romance of scarcely six weeks’ duration and an experience that marks them for a lifetime. For what the two discover on the Riviera and during a sultry evening in Rome is the one thing both already fear they may never truly find again: total intimacy.
The psychological maneuvers that accompany attraction have seldom been more shrewdly captured than in André Aciman’s frank, unsentimental, heartrending elegy to human passion. Call Me by Your Name is clear-eyed, bare-knuckled, and ultimately unforgettable.

Character development:
When it comes to character development, I did not find it lacking in any manner. The gradual way in which the author inserts newer facts about the character is very sublime and makes the overall effect a thousand times thus. A lot of time has certainly been given to this masterpiece of a book and Aciman has done a spectacular job with the book.

Plot development:
Another aspect in which the author has given intimate attention would be undoubtedly the plot as a whole. The streaming of time from Elio’s perspective gave it a certain rustic and lazy view, all the more relatable and heart-warming. The gradual buildup is beautiful done and the compartmentalization into the 4 part by the author has in a very poignant way classified the different feelings Elio feels.
Quality of writing
Call me by your name is a masterpiece and it can be verified by the uncountable tears, readers, among which I too can be classified, have shed continuously. It can be verified by the galloping heartbeats that the author has rendered in us. The whole story was well paced and even though the first three parts are very close in terms of time, compared to the flashbacks in the fourth, the overall effect was very soothing and apt.
Thought provoking
The themes explored in this novel were also very thought provoking. We see the overall theme as love, along with homosexuality and friendship. Travel has also been included in the book along with the love for books/poetry and it excited the bibliophile in me as well.

Verdict
Call me by your name is the second ever LGBTQ+ book I have read and its left we shattered and in love, happy but forlorn and yet, with a certain unexplainable calmness in me. I rate this a 5/5 stars and will keep it close to my heart, to be revisited time and time again.

The Nirvana Threads, Rachel Tremblay, 2018

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The Nirvana Threads, Rachel Tremblay’s latest book, is a modern day interpretation of 90s magical punk and spiritual romance, a combination which I have never come across before. Sometime back, I reviewed the first chapter of the book, and I remember being very pleased and eager to read more. And so, when this book was released on the 1st of June, the author was kind enough to send me one too! Another disclaimer: although I was given this book by the author, my thoughts are entirely from a personal viewpoint and have in no way, been influenced.
One thing I would like to point out is that there is a lot of parallelism between the stream of consciousness method applied by Virginia Woolf and the similarities in our protagonist Carlie’s journey. Having said that, I propound that there has been no plagiarizing if you’re thinking in that line; I had meant the method itself.
We have our young protagonist, Carlie, a young woman living in the 90s, whose life changes after a life-altering accident. In the review I wrote for the first chapter, I was very much impressed with the way the author has beautifully portrayed the hollowness in the independence that people strive for. Carlie is a person facing a harsh reality- she does not really have any friends, and her parents are just people who gave her birth. They are just ‘family’ without the emotional connotations that otherwise come to mind when one talks of their families. It’s her husband who is her only ‘home’ in the world; someone others have not approved of, but in her defence- “She loved the fiery spark in his eyes, his sense of humour, and their common love for music. And his smile. His smile that showed his good heart. That was reason enough for her.”
The accident in itself is a great loss for her and almost a foreshadowing of the great change that is to come, as we see in the blurb! There is mention of a brother who lifts up her gloomy mood while she is recuperating in the hospital and I cannot help but be eager to know more.
It is June 1994, when “she climbed aboard the spaceship, as she kept calling it, and flew high above and away from Johnny’s game-board piece, wondering if his warm soul was enjoying a similar view.” Yes, that’s how the author had ended the first chapter and it had left me restless.
The journey in one sense is a journey of growth for Carlie- she’s broken and she heals with the help of her “Nirvana Threads” like she fondly calls them. She learns about acceptance and the meaning of selflessness and love, and it was a spiritual journey for me too. The book in its essence is a spiritual journey of a young woman, as she fights after a heart-wrenching loss and her subsequent healing. I myself was very moved with the story and I think that most will be too. I am a spiritual person as well, and that’s why I suppose I could connect with it the way I did. Having said that, I also feel that this book is a miss-or-hit because I feel that while many will love this, there will be a select few who won’t, and that would just mean that some people won’t be able to connect with it.
The plot was very well woven- I especially loved the intense episodes Carlie had- the author has described them beautifully and I was almost in tears during them. The characters were well planned out- I loved Damien! Leo, Hazel, Lucas were also very well planned out. I think that the author has done a great job in exploring the different facets of human life and jotting them down so well on paper. I personally would have loved a sequel to this- I would love to know more about Carlie’s story. The characters were magnificent and tangible and real for me, even though I truly felt that it was more of a plot-driven story.
I rate this a 5/5 stars and wish the author a hearty congratulations for this amazing, touching and beautiful book!

What your soul already knows, Dr Salma Farook, 2018

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I want to begin by saying how very lucky I consider myself to have been sought out by the author to review her book. I think this is perhaps the best motivational book that I have ever come across without being too preachy and boring, but simply mesmerizing.

Like I said before, it is a self-help book, quite a short read and free of jargons so that everyone can understand and I’m sure, relate to it. The author offers various views into the aspects of health – be it physical or mental, finance management, your personal well-being, attitudes to life, etc. The text is written in a very simple and relatable manner, with the help of various anecdotes of the author’s life itself. I enjoyed the way it was written- in a very beautiful and elegant manner.

The size of the book is quite small, running to just under 130 pages; it can be finished being read in one seating. Nonetheless, the content is very powerful. It has a very reflective tone and is at the same time, a powerful reminder for self-belief and is a guide to living life fearlessly. The author has very concisely written about real-world issues that one dabbles with in their daily life. There are also some explicit to-do’s stated in the book that I personally will/have been implementing, of course. Like- the Frugal Experiment, practicing gratitude, Swedish Death Cleaning etc. There are also a few other theories I need to practice more, as I have come to realize after reading WYSAK- to practice gratitude every day, and to learn that progress is better than perfection and also that while money facilitates happiness, it does not brew it.

There are many other wonderful life lessons that I have taken from this book and I surely will love to reread it again and again over the course of the coming years. My only regret is that I do not own a paperback! Keeping on the topic, I would also like to congratulate the author for having published this life-changing book that I’m sure will help a lot of people get through their lives. Definitely a 5 star read for me!

Letters to my Son, Saravana Kumar Murugan, 2018

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Letters to my son is a love story and a story of love. It is a beautiful piece of literature that has portrayed how love heals all wounds and how, in our everyday life with its busy and hectic overtures, love is the one thing that binds us all to the people in our lives- who in turn keep us sane and happy. It explains how love can change the way people look at things- their perspectives and it’s power to heal even the deepest of wounds resulting from tragic loses. As we will see in the book.
(Check out this interview I did with the author- An Interview with Mr. Saravana Kumar Murugan (author of the bestselling Coffe Date) on his new heartwarming book- Letters to my Son )
This book is a story mainly focusing on the relationship we have with our parents and how these relationships affect us in our day to day lives. We see a widower Aarav, an optimistic man who after the tragic death of his dear wife, has taken the sole responsibility for his son Nirav. His abundant love and attention have helped shape Nirav into a wonderful young man and their bond is a beautiful one. We are also introduced to Mirnalini or Miru as she is fondly called, a vivacious young girl, in love with Nirav.
This novel has brilliantly portrayed the epistolary form of writing in the so-called “Letters to my Son” which have been written by Aarav for his dear son Nirav, on various occasions over the years. It is also a bildungsroman in the sense that we see the mental and emotional changes in Nirav as well as Mirnalini as they initially grow up in India and then go to the USA to pursue their higher education, without any chaperones.
It is truly a beautiful story and I felt that it could have been longer but then again, it is not a novel, rather a short story. And thus, for that, I give it a 4 out of 5 stars. It also features some very beautiful pieces of poetry as our protagonist Nirav is nothing short of a poet himself. Here is one such piece of poetry by Nirav:

In a non-smoker’s ashtray,

I burnt in a way,

Sent up fumes of grey,

Like love’s prey.

 We’d fight a lot,

More than we ever fought,

Still the love knot,

Never let us rot.

 

The Red-Haired Woman, Orhan Pamuk, 2016

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I’m going to begin my review by quoting again, one blurb for this book that was present on the back cover, by Kirkus Reviews on The White Castle, “Elegant and intellectually provocative”. The Red-Haired Woman is a literary masterpiece and as a Pamuk virgin, I fell in love with the writing style- almost like the lazy afternoons Cem spent under the walnut tree; rambling and peaceful.
The surroundings portrayed- with the political unrest, seemed very realistic as it pulls the reader in and makes him a part of the book. The cruel twist fate or destiny pulls in the blanket of our stars, makes it so difficult and strange for the people to accept the truth. Cem as an impressionable youth was portrayed as a vulnerable character, in need of a father-figure in his life, for his biological father could hardly be one. His frequent absences create in him the lifelong doubt that always gnaws away at his soul. So when he does find a father-figure in Master Mahmut, we see the dilemma he faces; there are times he feels an inexplicable bond with him and at other times, he is resentful, looking for possibly veiled barbs in whatever Master Mahmut said.
The whole story is beautiful tale and takes in and around Turkey and Istanbul. The scenic beauty that the author relays to the reader is of an arid and windy place, but unlike what we might imagine- there are buildings, electricity, communication lines etc., despite the contrasting pastoral and rustic imagery that come more easily.
Themes for filicide and patricide abound in this book, and Cem as the protagonist also recognizes how much he studies these two events, and yet, the themes of human relationships and human feelings, are perhaps the most dominant ones in this book.
I have also loved the red-haired woman but I do think that the author tries to keep her in the mystery surrounding her until the very end. Even the background we are provided for her is not enough to dispel the heavy fog surrounding this enigmatic woman. Nonetheless, she retained the perfect bit of vagueness for me as a reader until the very end, despite the little bit of soul-baring that she does.
I rate this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars and rightly understand why it has been awarded the Nobel Prize; it is a literary masterpiece, I reiterate, one that will live through time- like the best stories ever told to man.

The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde, 1890

13th April
So I just started reading The Picture of Dorian Gray yesterday, and so far I’m loving it. The writer has introduced Basil Hallward- the guy who paints the infamous picture, later on, the man in question that is Mr Dorian Gray himself and their mutual friend Lord Henry Wotton (Harry).
I could realize that Lord Henry is an influencer kind of person because, in the beginning, itself, we see Basil hesitant to introduce him to Dorian because he was afraid that the young Lord would be a bad influence on his friend. And it is just as well, I think, because boy, does he have a way with words! I have been mesmerized by the way Lord Henry speaks; there is this paradoxical quality about him that I really like, and he is just a very good orator. Most of the lines that I have underlined in the book so far are from his speeches. I’ll put in a few examples here:

  1. Your rank and wealth, Harry; my brains, such as they are,—my fame, whatever it may be worth; Dorian Gray’s good looks,—we will all suffer for what the gods have given us, suffer terribly.
  2. I make a great difference between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their characters, and my enemies for their brains. A man can’t be too careful in the choice of his enemies. I have not got one who is a fool. They are all men of some intellectual power, and consequently they all appreciate me. Is that very vain of me? I think it is rather vain.
  3. Days in summer, Basil, are apt to linger.
  4. I think you will tire first, all the same. Some day you will look at Gray, and he will seem to you to be a little out of drawing, or you won’t like his tone of color, or something. You will bitterly reproach him in your own heart, and seriously think that he has behaved very badly to you. The next time he calls, you will be perfectly cold and indifferent. It will be a great pity, for it will alter you. The worst of having a romance is that it leaves one so unromantic.
  5. There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral,—immoral from the scientific point of view.
  6. Because to influence a person is to give him one’s own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else’s music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realize one’s nature perfectly,—that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one’s self.
  7. ‘I believe that if one man were to live his life out fully and completely, were to give form to every feeling, expression to every thought, reality to every dream,—I believe that the world would gain such a fresh impulse of joy that we would forget all the maladies of mediaevalism, and return to the Hellenic ideal,— to something finer, richer, than the Hellenic ideal, it may be…. You, Mr. Gray, you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid, thoughts that have filled you with terror, day-dreams and sleeping dreams whose mere memory might stain your cheek with shame—
  8. You are a wonderful creature. You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
  9. Because you have now the most marvellous youth, and youth is the one thing worth having…Some day, when you are old and wrinkled and ugly, when thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and passion branded your lips with its hideous fires, you will feel it, you will feel it terribly.
  10. And Beauty is a form of Genius,—is higher, indeed, than Genius, as it needs no explanation. It is one of the great facts of the world, like sunlight, or spring-time, or the reflection in dark waters of that silver shell we call the moon. It cannot be questioned. It has its divine right of sovereignty. It makes princes of those who have it…To me, Beauty is the wonder of wonders. It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible… ‘Yes, Mr. Gray, the gods have been good to you. But what the gods give they quickly take away. You have only a few years in which really to live. When your youth goes, your beauty will go with it, and then you will suddenly discover that there are no triumphs left for you, or have to content yourself with those mean triumphs that the memory of your past will make more bitter than defeats. Every month as it wanes brings you nearer to something dreadful. Time is jealous of you, and wars against your lilies and your roses. You will become sallow, and hollow-cheeked, and dull-eyed. You will suffer horribly. Realize your youth while you have it. Don’t squander the gold of your days, listening to the tedious, trying to improve the hopeless failure, or giving away your life to the ignorant, the common, and the vulgar, which are the aims, the false ideals, of our age. Live! Live the wonderful life that is in you! Let nothing be lost upon you. Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.
  11. Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only difference between a caprice and a life-long passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer.
  12. What a fuss people make about fidelity! … And, after all, it is purely a question for physiology. It has nothing to do with our own will. It is either an unfortunate accident, or an unpleasant result of temperament. Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot: that is all one can say.
  13. She behaves as if she was beautiful. Most American women do. It is the secret of their charm.
  14. Philanthropic people lose all sense of humanity. It is their distinguishing characteristic.
  15. I can sympathize with everything, except suffering. I cannot sympathize with that. It is too ugly, too horrible, too distressing. There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathize with the color, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life’s sores the better.
  16. Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the caveman had known how to laugh, history would have been different.
  17. To get back one’s youth, one has merely to repeat one’s follies.
  18. Nowadays, most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.
  19. Nowadays people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
  20. My dear boy, no woman is a genius: women are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. They represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as we men represent the triumph of mind over morals.
  21. But you should not say the greatest romance of your life. You should say the first romance of your life. You will always be loved, and you will always be in love with love. There are exquisite things in store for you. This is merely the beginning.
  22. ‘My dear boy, people who only love once in their lives are really shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or the lack of imagination. Faithlessness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the intellectual life,—simply a confession of failure.
  23. When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls romance.
  24. To have ruined oneself over poetry is an honour.
  25. There is always something infinitely mean about other people’s tragedies.
  26. People are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves.
  27. A great poet, a really great poet, is the most unpoetical of all creatures. But inferior poets are absolutely fascinating. The worse their rhymes are, the more picturesque they look. The mere fact of having published a book of second-rate sonnets makes a man quite irresistible. He lives the poetry that he cannot write. The others write the poetry that they dare not realize.
  28. Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.
  29. ‘I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take towards life. We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people say, and I never interfere with what charming people do. If a personality fascinates me, whatever the personality chooses to do is absolutely delightful to me… The real drawback to marriage is that it makes one unselfish. And unselfish people are colorless. They lack individuality.
  30. The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
  31. Women are wonderfully practical, much more practical than we are. In situations of that kind we often forget to say anything about marriage, and they always remind us… I have a theory that it is always the women who propose to us, and not we who propose to the women, except, of course, in middle-class life. But then the middle classes are not modern.
  32. You will always like me, Dorian… I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.
  33. I have known everything, but I am always ready for a new emotion. I am afraid that there is no such thing, for me at any rate.
  34. There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating,—people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing. Good heavens, my dear boy, don’t look so tragic! The secret of remaining young is never to have an emotion that is unbecoming. Come to the club with Basil and myself. We will smoke cigarettes and drink to the beauty of Sibyl Vane. She is beautiful. What more can you want?
  35. But she would have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes dreadfully dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman’s husband has to pay for. I say nothing about the social mistake, but I assure you that in any case the whole thing would have been an absolute failure.
  36. Good resolutions are simply a useless attempt to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil. They give us, now and then, some of those luxurious sterile emotions that have a certain charm for us. That is all that can be said for them.
  37. I fancy that the explanation is this. It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack of style. They affect us just as vulgarity affects us. They give us an impression of sheer brute force, and we revolt against that. Sometimes, however, a tragedy that has artistic elements of beauty crosses our lives. If these elements of beauty are real, the whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly we find that we are no longer the actors, but the spectators of the play. Or rather we are both. We watch ourselves, and the mere wonder of the spectacle enthralls us. In the present case, what is it that has really happened? Some one has killed herself for love of you. I wish I had ever had such an experience. It would have made me in love with love for the rest of my life. The people who have adored me—there have not been very many, but there have been some— have always insisted on living on, long after I had ceased to care for them, or they to care for me. They have become stout and tedious, and when I meet them they go in at once for reminiscences. That awful memory of woman! What a fearful thing it is! And what an utter intellectual stagnation it reveals! One should absorb the color of life, but one should never remember its details. Details are always vulgar.
  38. I believe that women appreciate cruelty more than anything else. They have wonderfully primitive instincts. We have emancipated them, but they remain slaves looking for their masters, all the same. They love being dominated. I am sure you were splendid. I have never seen you angry, but I can fancy how delightful you looked. And, after all, you said something to me the day before yesterday that seemed to me at the time to be merely fanciful, but that I see now was absolutely true, and it explains everything.’
  39. We live in an age that reads too much to be wise, and that thinks too much to be beautiful.

Basil Hallward also has some amazing lines:

  1. When I like people immensely I never tell their names to any one. It seems like surrendering a part of them… It is the only thing that can make modern life wonderful or mysterious to us.
  2. You never say a moral thing, and you never do a wrong thing. Your cynicism is simply a pose.
  3. I had a strange feeling that Fate had in store for me exquisite joys and exquisite sorrows.
  4. You might see nothing in him. I see everything in him.
  5. I will not bare my soul to their shallow, prying eyes. My heart shall never be put under their microscope. There is too much of myself in the thing, Harry,—too much of myself!
  6. We live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of autobiography.
  7. I have given away my whole soul to some one who treats it as if it were a flower to put in his coat, a bit of decoration to charm his vanity, an ornament for a summer’s day.
  8. Don’t spoil him for me. Don’t try to influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide, and has many marvellous people in it. Don’t take away from me the one person that makes life absolutely lovely to me, and that gives to my art whatever wonder or charm it possesses. Mind, Harry, I trust you.
  9. He won’t like you better for keeping your promises. He always breaks his own.

Was it just me or does Dorian Gray not feel like the central character of the novel at all? Am I prejudiced towards Lord Henry Wotton a.k.a Harry? Dorian too has a few lines, short and profound, but nothing compared to what I think Harry has:

  1. I know, now, that when one loses one’s good looks, whatever they may be, one loses everything. Your picture has taught me that. Lord Henry is perfectly right. Youth is the only thing worth having. When I find that I am growing old, I will kill myself.
  2. I am in love with it, Basil. It is part of myself, I feel that.
  3. I felt that this gray, monstrous London of ours, with its myriads of people, its splendid sinners, and its sordid sins, as you once said, must have something in store for me. I fancied a thousand things… To the present day I can’t make out why I did so; and yet if I hadn’t!—my dear Harry, if I hadn’t, I would have missed the greatest romance of my life.
  4. But Juliet! Harry, imagine a girl, hardly seventeen years of age, with a little flower-like face, a small Greek head with plaited coils of dark-brown hair, eyes that were violet wells of passion, lips that were like the petals of a rose. She was the loveliest thing I had ever seen in my life. You said to me once that pathos left you unmoved, but that beauty, mere beauty, could fill your eyes with tears. I tell you, Harry, I could hardly see this girl for the mist of tears that came across me… Your voice and the voice of Sibyl Vane are two things that I shall never forget. When I close my eyes, I hear them, and each of them says something different. I don’t know which to follow. Why should I not love her? Harry, I do love her. She is everything to me in life. Night after night I go to see her play. One evening she is Rosalind, and the next evening she is Imogen. I have seen her die in the gloom of an Italian tomb, sucking the poison from her lover’s lips. I have watched her wandering through the forest of Arden, disguised as a pretty boy in hose and doublet and dainty cap. She has been mad, and has come into the presence of a guilty king, and given him rue to wear, and bitter herbs to taste of. She has been innocent, and the black hands of jealousy have crushed her reed-like throat. I have seen her in every age and in every costume. Ordinary women never appeal to one’s imagination… But an actress! How different an actress is! Why didn’t you tell me that the only thing worth loving is an actress?’ ‘Because I have loved so many of them, Dorian.’
  5. She is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than an individual. You laugh, but I tell you she has genius. I love her, and I must make her love me. You, who know all the secrets of life, tell me how to charm Sibyl Vane to love me! I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain. My God, Harry, how I worship her!’
  6. She has not merely art, consummate art instinct, in her, but she has personality also; and you have often told me that it is personalities, not principles, that move the age.
  7. As we were sitting together, suddenly there came a look into her eyes that I had never seen there before. My lips moved towards hers. We kissed each other. I can’t describe to you what I felt at that moment. It seemed to me that all my life had been narrowed to one perfect point of rose-colored joy… I have been right, Basil, haven’t I, to take my love out of poetry, and to find my wife in Shakespeare’s plays? Lips that Shakespeare taught to speak have whispered their secret in my ear. I have had the arms of Rosalind around me, and kissed Juliet on the mouth.
  8. You used to stir my imagination. Now you don’t even stir my curiosity. You simply produce no effect. I loved you because you were wonderful, because you had genius and intellect, because you realized the dreams of great poets and gave shape and substance to the shadows of art. You have thrown it all away. You are shallow and stupid. My God! how mad I was to love you! What a fool I have been! You are nothing to me now. I will never see you again. I will never think of you. I will never mention your name. You don’t know what you were to me, once. Why, once …. Oh, I can’t bear to think of it! I wish I had never laid eyes upon you! You have spoiled the romance of my life. How little you can know of love, if you say it mars your art! What are you without your art? Nothing. I would have made you famous, splendid, magnificent. The world would have worshipped you, and you would have belonged to me. What are you now? A third-rate actress with a pretty face.
  9. So I have murdered Sibyl Vane,’ said Dorian Gray, half to himself,— ‘murdered her as certainly as if I had cut her little throat with a knife. And the roses are not less lovely for all that. The birds sing just as happily in my garden. And to-night I am to dine with you, and then go on to the Opera, and sup somewhere, I suppose, afterwards. How extraordinarily dramatic life is! If I had read all this in a book, Harry, I think I would have wept over it. Somehow, now that it has happened actually, and to me, it seems far too wonderful for tears. Here is the first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my life. Strange, that my first passionate love letter should have been addressed to a dead girl.
  10. If one doesn’t talk about a thing, it has never happened. It is simply expression, as Harry says, that gives reality to things.

14th April
From whatever I’ve read so far, I can make out that the character of Lord Henry Wotton is quite shallow. He is a rake, very obviously. He seems to say a lot of things- wonderful things; he has a loud mouth. But it all seems like a façade to me. He must possibly be a lonely person trying to deny that, through all his antics. He is a person in denial of the fact that his life has no meaning so far. Nonetheless, I love his character. He has that whimsical quality about him that I like- he makes me think. He is a chauvinist when he gives his speech- “My dear boy, no woman is a genius: women are a decorative sex. They never have anything to say, but they say it charmingly. They represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as we men represent the triumph of mind over morals.”
One line Sibyl Vane has said that has left me unsettled was- “To be in love is to surpass oneself… he has preached me as a dogma; tonight he will announce me as a revelation. I feel it. And it is all his, his only, Prince Charming, my wonderful over, my god of graces.”
Another poignant line of hers is “You came,—oh, my beautiful love!—and you freed my soul from prison. You taught me what reality really is. To-night, for the first time in my life, I saw through the hollowness, the sham, the silliness, of the empty pageant in which I had always played… You had brought me something higher, something of which all art is but a reflection. You have made me understand what love really is. My love! my love! I am sick of shadows. You are more to me than all art can ever be. What have I to do with the puppets of a play? When I came on to-night, I could not understand how it was that everything had gone from me. Suddenly it dawned on my soul what it all meant. The knowledge was exquisite to me. I heard them hissing, and I smiled. What should they know of love? Take me away, Dorian— take me away with you, where we can be quite alone. I hate the stage. I might mimic a passion that I do not feel, but I cannot mimic one that burns me like fire. Oh, Dorian, Dorian, you understand now what it all means? Even if I could do it, it would be profanation for me to play at being in love.”

I thought that I’d put in every line that I liked from beginning till end, but I’ve realized how highly impractical that is; since I’m reading from an actual copy of the book, rather than an eBook. (Fun fact: I hate eBooks, and avoid them like the plague unless it is absolutely necessary)
The chapter of Sibyl Vane’s death is very significant, I feel. We see Dorian finally morph into someone else- the change in his portrait is proof of that as his innate humanity has lessened, no doubt from Harry’s (Lord Henry Wotton) influence and his own choices as well. Then we see his realization regarding this change when he refuses to let Basil remove the screen he had placed in front of the portrait to prevent anyone else from seeing it. We see him growing suspicious of everyone around him- from his valet, the loyal Victor- to even the frame-maker Mr Hubbard.
I got the word I was searching for- for Harry. His words are charming and clever- but they are cynical. He sends over The Yellow Book to Dorian which is similar to the poisonous influence he has on the younger man. The book is almost like an experiment he performs on Dorian, which turns out exceedingly to his liking. It fascinates Dorian as he sees aspects of his own life in the protagonist in this “novel without a plot, and with only one character, being, indeed, simply a psychological study of a certain young Parisian”.
15th April
I watched the 2009 version of Dorian Gray, starring Ben Barnes (Oh, how I love him!). The guy who plays Basil in the movie very eloquently said to Dorian, about Harry- “You’ll never meet a more eloquent philosopher of pure folly”. And I totally agree.
Things have really turned for the worst when Dorian stoops to murder and blackmail (to hide the fact that he has murdered a man). He has finally become an image of Harry, but much more dangerous and immoral in nature. He almost does not have a heart! He is so dedicated to his pursuit of pleasure that he no longer knows what happiness is. The irony of it all is that he knows what happiness and pleasure are, in terms of their lexical meanings, and that there is a huge difference between them.
Another lines of Harry I came across towards the end are:

  1. The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness.
  2. As for omens, there is no such thing as an omen. Destiny does not send us heralds. She is too wise or too cruel for that.
  3. The basis of every scandal is an immoral certainty.
  4. Knowledge would be fatal. It is the uncertainty that charms me. A mist makes things wonderful.

Anyway, I finished this book today. It was most possibly one of the best books I’ve read this year. It is a wonderful novel, hence an obvious classic and I am so glad that I have read this masterpiece of the ages. Dorian as a character who repents too late towards the end, teaches us that the pursuit of pleasure is no doubt an aphrodisiac to the senses but this pursuit must be done only within the moral limits set by society and not be obsessed over. Likewise, the fact that youth and beauty are transient and will fade away one day is a fact that we all need to accept.
Lord Henry is a cynic of the purest waters. He is charming with his words, delightful in his speeches. He is a bad influence, but I love him more for it. Basil on the other hand, is a very good friend who ultimately dies due to the madness of the person he was trying to help.
The plot in itself was an awesome journey over the years in Victorian Era England and we see a bleak picture of London of the times, with its unbridgeable gap between the rich and the poor. It was this London of vices that unfortunately trapped the young and impressionable Dorian with Lord Henry’s help.
Oscar Wilde has created a sensational masterpiece in this philosophical novel and makes us explore the interrelationships between art, life and the consequences of our actions. It beautifully plays with elements of sin, desire and personal growth in a period when this was an outrage to the Victorian establishment.
I rate it a solid 5/5 stars.

Passion, Hard Work and Discipline